WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

MY TUMMY FUCKING KILLS. I've had around 700 calories togday, icky. I feel bloated and gross. I've already purged a little up because it hurts so bad. I'm going to go try again after I finish this post, because I feel nauseous. It's like my stomach has stretched itself to contain that mass amount of food in there. Je deteste mon estomac.

Yesterday when by with flying colours! Or colors, whichever nation station you are currently boarding at. I ate around 370 calories, which was pretty good. Why so bad today? My tummy feels all warm and fuzzy, but it's rather funny feeling. Maybe the beast in the pit of my stomach is plotting against me, her cauldron swallowing up her wrath and dissapointment. Then she'll attack at the weakest moment and inhale all the food that enters my mouth. She'll sprinkle it with magical dust which will make my fat expand even more.

Think positive. Positive, positive, positive. Okay, well I didn't binge. 700 isn't what I wanted, but it's still a good 800 under the recommended intake. I feel full after eating chicken noodle soup, so my stomach must be shrinking. Thinking about chicken noodly soup is making me more nauseous. Tomorrow I will not go over 500, and I will slowly start cutting back more from there. Keep the goal in mind, never drift away from what I want.

Goals. Speaking of goals, I want to be under 100lbs by Halloween. I don't care if I'm a 99.9lbs for that to work, I just want to break the triple digits. I'm at 110 just now. Is that a reasonable goal, or am I just flying high? Is it unreasonable? I really need to know.

I'm cold, and I must go to the shitload of homework staring at me just now. I have read all your superduper blogs, and I'm sorry for the lack of comments. I feel horrible for being such a lurk. 20 Followers! You girlies, and guys if any, are all so amazing.

Think thin and stay strong
xoxo

2 comments:

  1. So that's what happens inside my stomach. Curse that beast... Tomorrow will be better, beautiful. Just stay strong and start over. I totally think you can make your halloween goal.

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  2. hmm.. do you exercise? because then it could be a very reasonable goal :) i get that way too. with the whole stomach hurting, purging

    stay positive! I want to be 115 by halloween...12 pounds possible? i think maybe. so you could def do 10 pounds
    i

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