WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Friday, May 6, 2011

i'm being taken to prom this summer. i've lost almost eight pounds this week, something i fear is either water weight or my scales have gone quite mad. time seems to slip by quickly, day after day, on this low calorie diet and mild exercise.

i'm losing weight, and that's all that matters. i am not creative nor inspirational, i am just terribly sick. i feel completely fine with this.

stress builds up easily, but pretty canary yellow pills keep me at bay. dealing with friends cutting, friends who are suicidal, friends are borderline crazy and almost up to par with me. i am the rock, the supporter, the one full of secrets which they'll never discover. hushed words of it's okay, you're fine, this will pass which are packed with lies. i'm such a monster.

now to go hang out with my new boy--whom is in a band, wow!--and go eat sushi but secretly pick at it and loathe myself more than ever.

much love,
ariana xoxo.

p.s. should i post more often? i feel ghost-like and out of place here.