WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

good GOD ariana, are you out of your fucking mind??
go study, comment on blogs, do something other than EAT.
what about that elliptical machine?? you've only spent 20 minutes on it today.

for fuck's sake, grow up already.

Monday, January 18, 2010

now, ariana. when will you learn that you are not as smart as you originally thought you were? you silly little(or big?) girl, your brain only computes one thing at a time. do you really think you can force all these things in to it's tiny memory at once? non, tu ne peux pas. you're fucking stupid, never forget that love.
! end of pep talk !

this weekend was pretty awful. it wasn't exactly the amounts, it's the fact that it was all junk food. no greens, nothing healthy. i was with friends both saturday and sunday, and healthy food doesn't seem to exist with them. i was with K, the one that wants to lose weight? hello?!?! what the fuck are you doing eating this shit then!?!?
this girl confuses me, but complain i will not. if ariana is skinnier, ariana is happier.

i also went snowboarding on sunday, three hours hardcore. my ass hurts like a fucking bitch.

last week i must admit, went well. no more than 700 calories a day for five days. which is good for me, and is also quite sad. can you tell this has been the first time in let's say, forever, i've been set back on the tracks?

fuck you, ariana. you suck. go die. or study for exams, that would help.
so, how have you all been?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

satellite heart, lost in the dark.

intake so far; grapes, pizza, between five and six hundred calories..

the last few days have been at around five hundred. the fat girl inside-- and out! -- is being rather quiet. there are times where she'll crawl up my throat and threaten to reveal herself, but the skinny would-be self manages to drag her back down.

my jeans are too big. i keep having to pull them up, which is rather exciting. i'm feeling a little skinnier, too. still fat, but it's an improvement.

i have exams in exactly thirteen days, and i can't concentrate on studying. it's quite ridiculous, seeing how i have done this plenty of times and have sworn to change, but never do. ariana, tu es une idiote.

sorry i haven't been commenting, but i have been reading, i swear. i can't pick up the courage to give someone advice when i can hardly do it myself. i will get back in to it though, i promise.

ariana, xoxo.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

intake: one cinnamon muffin, small granola bar, three fish sticks, two slices toast, five hundred and twenty two calories.

meh, i would've liked better, but it's okay. the last few days have been horrible, so it's nice to be restricting today.

kim said.. 95lbs?! u must be pretty short in order for that to look good.

unfortunately, i am. i'm five feet and one inch. it seriously sucks.

i'm going to go out and buy a pretty food journal, making sure i obsess over every calorie i write down. my weight has been staying the same for the past couple of weeks, so hopefully writing down my sins will stop me from eating more than i'm supposed to. nobody wants to look back at failures.

my boyfriend is being a fucking asshole. he's being blunt, pissy, and clingy. maybe it's just me.

ariana, xoxo.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

i have to re write this because blogger is a fucking bitch.

intake: three pecan cookies, two slices bread, four hundred and fifty calories.
resolutions: get under ninety five pounds, clean up my diet, socialize, study more, stop skipping, keep smiling.

thank you for the comments on my last post. you are all fucking amazing, never forget that.

ariana, xoxo.