WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Monday, October 12, 2009

here comes the sun.

I must say I utterly despise Thanksgiving, with a newborn passion. Why must we celebrate every event with eating, eating, and more eating? There are other ways to celebrate, like parties, and gifts, and everything else that doesn't involve food. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to do the impossible. It was terrible today. There was so much food. I don't even want to know how many calories went through me. I think I might use the laxatives to wash them all out. Whoosh!

Thank you for the music suggestions, Stick Thin and Tabbi! I loved every single band and singer. New music is so refreshing. Mwah.

Anyways, it's a two day school week, which is fabulous. I should be studying for what, five tests that I think I have. I don't even know what subjects, so fuck it all. I was sick, that's a good enough excuse. Je ne pense pas. Tuesday and Wednesday will both be under 500 calories, because I need to get back on track. If I stay off the track any longer, I'll lose sight of it and I'll be wondering through the land of desperation and misery. Oh, shit! The doctors are stealing more blood from me on Wednesday, I completely forgot. That's too bad, because no amount of blood is stopping me from restricting, mes amis. They can all go to hell, because I stopped caring a long time ago.

I still need to call my friends, I forgot to do it. Shit. I've been rather forgetful recently. No, I'm pretty sure I've always been.

I'm thinking I should go watch Gossip Girl and throw inanimate objects at the TV because they're all so glamorous and beautiful and perfectperfectperfect. That sounds perfect.

I'm sorry I haven't done any commenting. I'm sorry I seem so selfish to complain about myself then not bother to even encourage others. I'm sorry I'm coming across as a self centered bitch. I'm sorry I'm such a fucked up mess that is currently hysterical over so many things. But I swear to the high heavens, I will comment tomorrow, or the day after. I swear, I promise, I bow down on my fucking knees.

Now, off to do homework and watch Gossip Girl.

Love you all, stay strong, beautiful and happy!


  1. In our society it's inevitable to have a holiday centered aroud food. Don't be silly.

  2. www.pandora.com. Its an awesome website. Free online radio. You pick a band and it automatically shuffles songs from the same genre. Its how i find a lot of my new music

  3. Ugh. I hate thanksgiving too. And it seems like even when people celebrate other ways, there's still a ton of food. It's ridiculous. I hate it.

  4. Stay strong and breathe. I think it's my new mantra. Glad I could help. Just keep smiling, it'll be better tomorrow :)