Today has been amazing so far. Intake is at zero, but my stomach, or whatever the fuck is in there, is attacking me with an axe. It hurts, so bad. I actually left school because I was in so much fucking pain. I couldn't sit down without squirming and receiving weird stares. Heh, I'm such an awkward girl. I'll be able to skip le souper, hopefully. Maybe this could turn out to be an amazing food-free day? I hope so.
So, here's a rant of jealousy and envy. I was out around town yesterday, and my mother wanted to come. I let her, but she was being a whiny bitch the whole time. Anyways, I went to a shoe store and there major thinspo. This girl who worked there was a fucking angel. She was an amazon though, like six feet tall? And extremely thin. I was scared her collarbones were going to pop out of her skin, and I loved it. Now, being a stumpy 5"1, I was completely envious. I have to rely on fucking heels to make me look taller. I want to be petite, though. Small, fragile, skinny. I was watching the video for 'Ignorance' by Paramore, and Hayley's legs are so fucking SKINNY. She's around the same height as me, therefore, I wanna look something like that.
Then of course I dragged through the supermarket. There was so many things. My eyes caught the ice cream, the poptarts, and the cookies, but my hands grabbed the insides of my pockets. I was talking to myself the whole time, saying 'Idonotwantthis.'Idonotwantthis. Idonotwantthis. Idonotwantthis.' It worked, but I think I disturbed a five year old girl and her mother.
Enough of my childish ranting, I must now do the homework I have been procrastinating for two days. I know it will not get done, but I shall try, maybe. I will go comment on blogs first, because I've read them all. I get really excited and girly-giggly when I see someone has posted. Is that weird? It's hard to define what's normal and strange with me.
Anywho, stay strong.
xoxo
I love awkward! I'm pretty good at that too.
ReplyDeleteHope your stomach feels better. Great day today! Keep it up :)
xo