WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

finding the path.


I love this girl. I found this picture a couple of weeks ago, then closed the window without saving the damn thing. I just found it again today and fell in love. I adore her hipbones and thighs, she looks so light and fragile and pretty. I keep staring at it, and it's making me feel like a pervert.


Today has been pretty good, I'm now focused again. Ariana has came out of the loony bin and has scrubbed her mind clean of diseases and lies. I attempted to fry two egg whites this morning. They looked more like pancakes than fried eggs. I swear to god, I've never put so much effort into cooking. Quite sad, isn't it. That was around 40 calories, including a quick spray of PAM oil stuff. I had some pasta for supper, which was 390 exactement. Add five calories for gum and we have a grand total of 435 calories. I was chewing my nails this morning out of frustration that I was so fucking tempted to eat. It was driving me insane.
I have more blood tests tomorrow, and I don't wanna go, but my mom offered to drive me and now I'm fucked because I accepted. I already know I'm Anemic, I know I have a heart murmur, what the fuck else do they want to dump on me? I'm not as sick as it sounds, I just tend to over exaggerate when I whine.
Anyways, I have nothing more to report, so I'm done for now my loves.
Ariana
xo

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