WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Why must I be the center of sickness? Come right up! Choose from my fine selection of illnesses! I had to eat this morning, because I could barely drag myself out of my nest, and I'm being forced to the doctor's today. Ariana is going for bloodtests. Ariana is becoming the family ragdoll. Ariana does not want. I refused last time, do they really think I'll accept today? Oh, here. Take my blood and carve my problems in your medical books. Give me more drugs, and tell me I'm going to get better. Never give me a straight diagnosis, just keep shoving excuses down my throat. Fuck you, doctor.

I felt light and dizzy this morning. But not the I-haven't-eaten-and-I-feel-wonderfully-light feeling, the I'm-sick-and-I'm-going-to-fall-on-my-face kind of dizzy. All I've eaten is carbs. I will now try to cut these devilish dissapointments out of my life. Au revoir! Not absolutely, totally, completely. This will be a gradual process, because I am addicted to bread. I love it, hate it, and want to flush it down the toilet or stab it with a steak knife all at the same time. I'm already at 530 calories today, but I'm shit scared about the doctor. I planned to run when I got up this morning, but it was pouring buckets, and I can hardly walk down the stairs. I suck.

Anyways, I think I'll go take vitamins.


  1. :( I'm sorry you feel so crummy. i hope you start feeling better. i hate being sick

  2. Mm that thing of going to the doctor might be a problem. I hope they don't force you to eat more :D

    Awww i love/hate bread too! specially with nutella on it..(we should create an organization for bread eradication or something like that haha)

    Take care