WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Not ate yet today. My new plan is to only eat supper, because I'm forced to. My parents work through the day, so I don't have to worry about them hanging over me and watching me like a hawk. Usually I just put evidence out, like a bowl with a little milk and cereal, etc. It works, and my mom doesn't have proof I didn't eat. It's amazing. But of course nothing lasts. My dad has been coming home just after lunch the past few days. Suspicious, hmm? The first thing he asked me when he got through the door was, 'Have you eaten yet? What did you have? Did you eat breakfast?' I told him I ate breakfast, but not lunch. So I made a peanut butter sandwich and he watched me. I'm a sucker for peanut butter, but I didn't eat a THING. I didn't lick my fingers, or the knife. Nothing. I took it through to my room, put it in a bag, and then in the garbage. Then I emptied my bin, and put it in the garbage outside. I wasn't even that tempted to eat it. I felt pretty good after that, but I really, really don't want to eat supper. ): Gah, they put out like HUGE fucking portions, and I'm like, 'kay then :\'.

Yesterday I went for a nice, long walk after supper, half of it going uphill, so I wasn't so worried. I've been drinking ALOT of water, and I'm bloating like a bitch. It's disgusting. I drank two bottle of water after supper, so I was feeling sick and gross because I chugged them. I'll never do that again.

When I get hungry, my hands shake. Is this normal? It isn't bad at all, they just feel shaky when I pick stuff up or if I'm holding something. Gah, whatever. School starts back in two weeks, and I'm pretty excited to get out this house all the time.

Oh, and thank you to the other follower. (:

stay beautiful xoxo


  1. Keep us posted as to how it works out for you only eating dinner. I've wondered about doing that sometimes but am worried my metabolism will pack up completely if I don't eat *anything* at all all day. Usually try and at least eat an apple or some piece of fruit in the morning to kickstart it.

    Nothing worse than someone else dishing up your portions for you *sigh*. As if anyone else knows how much you want to eat.

  2. I'm new to your blog. But it's really enjoyable to read.. . . honestly
    I went back to the beginning of your posts and I'm trying to catch up to the present !

    & , so far, I find your situation pretty relatable to mine. A lot about it.
    Right now, I really do not eat at all during the school day Except coffee in the morning and than dinner. . . is this a failure?
    & SAME. . . sucker for peanut, whattheefuckkkkk

    advice?! anything working?