WARNING: you're entering the zone of a disordered freak. beware.

Friday, September 11, 2009



I've been so bad this week. Binge, binge, binge. Endless strings of calories forcing themselves down my throat in a rush, while my sickly stomach churned, churned, churned. Eating away the stress, stress, stress. School started on Tuesday. Ariana is not a creature of change. I hate new things, I hate different teachers, new schedules, unfamiliar classmates. It makes me panic immensely. I can't take overwhelming things like that. I'm most likely over exaggerating and being dramatic, but that's how I am.
I just realized, I haven't updated in five days. I've been too busy being self centered and depressed. Today I had 400-500 calories, all of it on Kraft Dinner. Ew? I can't stand that stuff, I don't know why I was so inclined to eat it. Tomorrow I'm on a liquid fast. Anyone with me? Gives me motivation when I know I'm doing it with someone and I can't let them down. If I do, I'd feel horrible. Parents are not home, so this is the perfect opportunity. Water, Coffee, and Crystal Lite. I feel so digusting right now. Blubbery, greasy fat hanging off my body. The scales are still trying to fuck me over, so those are off the radar for now. I want the bones, baby.
Think Thin && Stay Strong
xoxo

3 comments:

  1. keep up your strength! its so inspiring!! i would totally do the liquid fast with you tomorrow but my parents are watching me like a hawk...
    stay strong!
    EMPTINESS IS STRENGTH
    xoxo
    -Strength

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  2. I know exactly what you mean with hating change I haven't been able to be in control since school started. To much new stuff, my head can't take but I had and liquid fast tomorrow and planning for one today :)

    I hope your's went well and that you're feeling better now

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