Tuesday, September 1, 2009
update on dinner.
nice change, mom. just keep trying to shove greasy pizza in my face. she decided on pizza at the last minute, so that was a WHATTHEFUCK moment. i was pissed beyond belief. i had two small pieces, that came in at 375 cals, while the rest of my family stuffed their faces with a load of other shit. i chugged a bottle of water after, because i felt another part of me wanting more, but then there's another part thats screams at me not to. it screams bad things in my head, like how FAT i'll get, and how all those empty calories will go to thighs and stomach. holy shit, i sound INSANE. i'll refer to that voice as 'she', instead of saying THAT SCREAMING VOICE. i'm not making any sense now, sorry.
i'm going to go do 200 sit ups, some crunches, and other things to burn these useless calories. the scale is trying to fuck me over too. the first time i stepped on it, it said 108.2 lbs. i did that for three times and it stayed the same. then the fourth time, i stepped on it and it was 100.8 lbs. WTF. i didn't change anything, and i'm standing on it properly. it's really starting to piss me off.
anyways, i'm thinking about buying the book 'Wasted' by Marya Hornbacher. i've seen some other bloggers read it, and i wanna know if it's worth it? i really need something to occupy my mind and that'll keep my motivated.
stay beautiful & think thin